The Blessing of Quitting
Parshat Balak
July 8, 2011
In this week’s Torah Portion Balak king of Moab calls on a soothsayer Bilam to curse the Israelite people (who are encamped just outside of Moabite territory). Bilam first refuses, as God tells him he cannot go and curse the Israelite people. Then Bilam consents to go, but states explicitly he can only say what the Eternal God puts in his mouth. In other words if God does not wish them cursed he will not curse them. Three times Balak makes sacrifices and tries to get Bilam to curse the Israelites and three times Bilam returns with words of blessing which God puts in his mouth. Balak is understandably angry with Bilam for not cursing the people as he wished and as he intended to reward him for doing, but why would he not listen…?
Bilam states very clearly his limitations, he can only say what God commands him to say, and that God has declared this people blessed! Why is Balak convinced he can change Bilam’s mind? Balak does not worship Adonai our God and he probably thinks his god’s wishes will overpower Adonai’s wishes. Following this reasoning, the prophet Bilam will see the truth and be swayed by whatever gods Balak worships. I can understand Balak asking him to come and the first attempt at cursing, but why keep trying? After the first blessing has come out of Bilam’s mouth, why ask him to try again? I think I would hedge my bets and at least find a different prophet to attempt the curse, rather than ignore the words of Bilam. Balak has entrenched himself and beyond all reason continues doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. I believe we call this the definition of insanity.
So what can we learn from Balak, most of us don’t get such clear messages from God as Bilam (and we too might ignore them if we did)!
This week I heard a radio program called “Freakenomics” which was all about quitting, and the reasons why people don’t quit in spite of the costs of sticking with it, and reasons why quitting can be a good thing. This program really resonated with me, not as someone who quits, because I don’t think I fit that category, but as a concept which gets a bad reputation and could perhaps be very useful, and be the thing we should have learned from Balak. Like Balak we often entrench ourselves in positions or projects which, in spite of the best advice, we dig in deeper and deeper instead of getting out. This might happen with financial difficulties, where we keep spending despite the piling credit card debt or even the calls from collectors. This might happen with a project at work. Have you ever said to your boss, “just another week and another x amount of money; I promise it will be perfect then, we’re just working out the bugs?” At what point do we need to see the writing on the wall; the bugs aren’t going to be removed; we are wasting our time and money or even our lives. I’ve heard people describe the Vietnam War in these terms as well; we were so far in we could not afford to pull out. We were killing people, destroying land and letting our solders become injured and die in an un-winnable war but we couldn’t afford to pull out? As someone who did not live through this time period I simply cannot understand what that means. Sure I understand that there are consequences to pulling out: you might look weak, you might feel like a failure; but are those things more important than preserving life?
What about your life, is your ego getting in the way? Is whatever project you are not accomplishing but not stopping getting in the way of you leading a better life? Sometimes quitting is the right thing to do, you never know what opportunities will come about and you might even come up with a new definition of success, but we often seem incapable of quitting. “Quitters never win and winners never quit,” the saying goes. Why? Surely this depends. There are all sorts of things I would not recommend quitting, like being a parent or relationships with your family members (barring extreme circumstances) but why are we invested in projects or jobs which are unfulfilling and even costing us our lives or livelihoods? We seem to have been taught that it is better to keep plugging away at it, that the hard work is success, not success itself (or balance or fulfillment, or having enough, or even not doing harm). Sure the American dream of lifting yourself out of poverty by your bootstraps means hard work and often at unfulfilling jobs, but not hard work at banging your head against a wall. Balak could not see the bigger picture, he could not move beyond his ego and his desire to curse the Israelite people to see that it was not possible. He would not even listen to the very clear communication Bilam was saying that cursing them would not happen. And instead he was cursed. Please let us learn from Balak. What part of your life is failing but you are too entrenched in “not quitting” or not taking a blow to your ego that you are acting like Balak? Try to take a step back, see what your friends, family, co-workers, the numbers, and even God may be trying to tell you, and think if it might not be better to take an ego blow than continue down a fruitless path. You never know the opportunities which will come your way when you change your mindset and look down a different path. I pray you will each be able to live in the world as it could be rather than as it is at this moment, and maybe you can take an active part in changing your own world to be better too.
Bilam’s blessing for the Israelite people began with the words Ma Tovu “how lovely are your tents o Jacob, your dwelling places o Israel.” As you take a moment to think about which struggles in your life are worth fighting for and which might be better left behind (as my mom has counseled me with parenthood, “choose your battles”), which parts of your life are you going to continue choosing, I bless you with these words of Bilam,
Song: Ma Tovu (Danny Maseng)